Ireland Guide

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Turning the Tables in Recession

Spotted by a family member visiting Carlingford, this arresting notice was enough to stop two hungry diners in their tracks en route to another restaurant – and it did the trick as, intrigued, they paused to look at the menu, liked what they saw and headed straight in to see what other entertainment the author of this quirky notice might have up his sleeve.

And anyone who knows Harry Jordan, by turns engineer and chef-restaurateur – once of the Blue Book property Jordan’s Town House & Restaurant, which he and his wife Marian (also a chef) ran from 1984 until the boom lured him back into construction, and then back here since last year with Marian to run The Oystercatcher – will recognise the wry humour in the style.

Staff are not in short supply at The Oystercatcher as the (refreshingly unusual) menu is designed to be manageable for one chef, but customers in a picturesque but seasonal coastal village – now that’s another thing altogether…

And, in case the little notice on the door is too small to read, it goes something like this:

The Oystercatcher Bistro

Hours of Accepting Money

Wednesday to Friday from 6.00pm

Saturday & Sunday from 5.30pm

If there’s lights on inside it means:

a. (if you are a customer) We are in just push handle below

b. (if you are supplier looking for money) we are not here

c. (if you are from the Bank) we have used the umbrella you gave us on a sunny day and we are in Timbuktu

d. (if you are from the Tax Office) all we have left is a used umbrella and you have been bate

Customers only may ring us on 042 937 3989

All other calls will be reported as harassment

Somewhere I have a gorgeous bread recipe from the Jordans – it will turn up some day and, when it does, I’ll be sure to post it here. It’s well worth making.

Georgina Campbell

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